Teardrops on my guitar

"Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see
What I want and I need
And everything that we should be

I'll bet she's beautiful
That girl he talks about
And she's got everything
That I have to live without

Drew talks to me
I laugh 'cause it's just so funny
I can't even see
Anyone when he's with me

He says he's so in love
He's finally got it right
I wonder if he knows
He's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

Drew walks by me
Can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She better hold him tight
Give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes
And know she's lucky 'cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

So I drive home alone
As I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down
And maybe get some sleep tonight

'Cuz he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

He's the time taken up but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into
Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see"

So this song is now my song. In every damn way. >.<

All the highlighted stuff is stuff that I feel or do or happens. This song describes it all..thats why almost everything is fucking highlighted red..lol...

Teardrops on my guitar

Drew Looks at me

I fake a smile so he wont see

What I want and I need

And everything that we should be

I'll bet she's beautiful

That girl he talks about

And she's got everything

That I have to live without

Drew talks to me

I laugh cause its just so funny

I cant even see

Anyone when he's with me

He say's he's so in love

He's finally got it right

I wonder if he knows

He's all think about at night

He's the reason for the teardops on my guitar

The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star

He's the song in the car I keep singing

Dont know why I do

Drew walks by me

Can he tell that I cant breath?

And there he goes, so perfuctly

The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She better hold him tight

Give him all her love

Look in those beautiful eyes

And know she's lucky cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only thing thats got me wishing on a wishing star

He's the song in the car I keep singing

Dont know why I do

So I drive home alone

As I turn out the light

I'll put his picture down

And maybe get some sleep tonight

Cuz he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart

He's the song in the car I keep playing

Normal day..or at least as normal is it gets

Today is a good day.

(so far..Each time it turns out good it always ends bad some way..so I dont want to curse it) Lol.

If any of you ever get really bored theres this amazing site I have thats really fun and entertaining..lol.

Its called www.gamesthatgive.net you should play bubble buster. Its my top favorite. And the star game. I think they call it staries. Lol.

Anyway,

I actually told my best friend everything...Like alot has happened to me these last few weeks and I havent been able to tell anyone. But yesterday I did. She's my best friend ever man. I didnt ever think we'd be this close or still even talking but we do.

I went to church with her last night. It was good until the end....Thats when of course he showed up....>.<

(I TOLD YOU. ITS ALWAYS THE END. AHHHH) Lol

Its like he's EVERYWHERE.

In my thoughts, at school, with my friends, fuck even my DREAMS. >.<

XD

It's like I cant exscape anywhere...its really unfair if you ask me....


I'll blog soon about exactly what happened..but I'm not ready yet...it still hurts..still hurting..

Bi-polar

You ever just have one of those days where you wonder why the fuck you even woke up...

why you take each breath in....

*my hand is raised up HIGH* lol.

I was getting better..with the whole depression and all...but just about a week or two ago it got bad again....like as bad if not worse than it was before...

Man I really dont want to go to school...like i know thats random but it just poped in my head.

My stomach is hurting...its "that time" and I have the munches lately..lol

wow.....I am so fucking bi-polar....

*takes gun and shots*

>.<

Alright..I'm going to bed...lol. Night

Suffering

It hurts so bad...

This feeling makes my heart fall inside out..

All I can do is cry and wallow in my own damn self pity, it's so fucking pathetic.

It hurts so bad.. its kills..and they have no clue.

No clue how much I fucking care...how much I truly am there....

I wish I wasn't. I wish I would just say fuck it. Like everyone else has...but I cant and I wont because I'm fucking STUPID.

I just want to save them and help them..let them feel no pain...but either way..I'll always be in pain...its like I CANT WIN!!!!!!!

It would be so much freakin easier if I was all alone away from everyone and everything..then no one could hurt me and I as well could hurt no one......

gah.....I just want to cry...

.....T.T.......this is pure suffering..

BACK

It's been such a long time. Im sorry about that too. But Im back soo it's all good.

I really have been meaning to get on but after i got home and started the recovery stage everything changed. Like even I changed. It's really werid..

Like the way I feel about relationships have changed and the way I feel about kids and love..>.<

Well anyway..this is just letting you all know I'm back. And I'm going to start "Real" blogs after this one..this one is just a I'm alive type of blog. lol. =D

Love ya all thanks for everything and again I'm sorry for being gone for so damn long.

recovery

These next weeks of recovery are going to be long and boring. I love the fact that I'm home and there's no school for me(except for awhile..I have to be home schooled for awhile) I can hardly get off the damn coach which means I'm not going ANYWHERE for a LONG while.

Tomorrow there going to take out my staples...Im kinda scared which is so fucking stupid because if I can make it through major surgery than I can make it through staples coming out...>.<>

I have a special toilet that i have to use because I cant get up or off a normal one. Anyway, it's amazing. I'd die without it. =p

Same with my pillow that I keep on my tummy. It helps for the most part.

Sooo how is everyone doing..??? I've been gone for soooo long I'm not sure if I can read everything Ive missed sooo everyone should make a post called " the new and old" and give me a low down or summery of everything Ive missed and some resent stuff so that I can just start from there. ^^

Thank you all it would mean alot. Though if there is anything you want me to see just tell me the name of it and ill go find it..other wise we'll just go from there.

I love you ace, and Lia. Thank you for the comments, your amazing.

I'M ALIVE, but I have some sad news

I'm very sorry I've been gone for so long. There was a reason, though. The pain I was feeling on my side wasn't just nothing; it was ovarian cancer. Seven and a half inches long, in fact. It was twisted around my left ovary, thus, I lost my whole left ovary along with the cancer. I was in the hospital for a few days. Hopefully it won't come back since we caught it early. But we have to watch over it.

God is amazing. I was very blessed that the surgery went so well.

Guess what, my nurse was gay! He was so cute! That was the best part, lol.

I won't be able to read all of your guy's stuff for awhile (I won't be fully recovered until six weeks from now). But I'll do my best to get caught up.

Already gone

I've only cryed myself to sleep once before last night.. And both times left me feeling the same. Depressed and numb.

I woke up feeling the same as well. I was going to go to church but I didn't go. Felt like being alone......

Do I do it to myself..? Do I set up myself for heart break..? I'd like to think not but I guess so. I just know I'm done with it.

I have a goal in life. I finally have a reason. And for now Im gona keep my eyes on the price, fuck relationships. No dating, no flirting. No heartbreak. Thats how its gonna be for now on, till I decide people wont just fuck me over or something will turn out for nothing.

But this is part of learning. Falling is i mean...and now Im getting back up but never again. I tryed so hard and yet so far but in the end it doesnt even matter. I had to fall to lose it all but in the end it doesnt even matter. Listen to it on my little ipod thing. Its exactly how I feel right now.

I guess some things in life are just too damn over rated. >.< I knew this. But knowing me I tryed anyway...and just like normal got slapped in the face for it. So I'm already gone. That's another song on there that I want you to listen too. Its also how I feel.

My birthday is tomorrow...and it feels like its just going to be like any other day to me. I don't want to celebrate or anything. I mean seriously why celebrate hope when she doesn't even know what hope means. Its foreign as far as I'm concerned.

I did want a few things. Of which I no longer want.

You know what I want..? I want to be stuck ALONE in a dark room for ever. That's what I want. Nothing else seems comforting as much as that does.

You know 16 years ago...I would of never pictured my life like this. As a kid...I was sooo happy. I had no fucking depression or anything like that. Everything was great, the world was a good place.......

Now its hell and I just wish it would end....I mean I never signed up for this.

Happy 16 birthday hope. Pft...

(listen on my ipod broken inside.)Its my song.

Fun =]

Relationships are so werid and hard. Thats why I try hard to avoid them. >.<

But sometimes that just doesnt happen.

So basic low down...I still care/love my ex..and he's with my best friend...but there relationship isnt going well and he knows it. I think he may end up breaking up with her...and he also knows I still you know care.....so I think thats one reason he may break up with her...

But I dont wanna be the reason of that. I mean dont get me wrong...I'd be kinda relieved if they did but I dont want it to be done because of me. I want him to you know break up with her cause thats what he wants. >.<

AHHHH so confusing.


We got a shit load of snow over here. Sooo where kinda stuck in our house. =p

Fun Fun, right..? No. I wanna get out and do something. But of course...cant. =s

Dood I love the song I make the good girls go bad. Its sooo hot. Like the SEX. Listen to it. ^^

GOOD GIRLS GO BAD!!! =DDDD =P

dont have much time

Lia I love you girl. I meant to write something long and nice. But time is not on my side.

So thats all I could sum up.

Have in fun

Hello Everyone.^^ SOoo thought it'd be fun too post some yaoi. Which is gay anime. Lol. I love it though, so enjoy...or die. Not. =D or maybe.... XP

this one is sexy

this one is okay.

OHH ya this one is tight.=p

Yep Im feelin this one too.

this one is my top fav. Whootwhooo.

I make the good girls go bad ^0^

So ina good mood right now. Just feel like chating and just talking bout anything and everything. =]

School, has been going fine. I got all caught up,and ive been gettin like A's and B's on my math test's and quizes. IM SOO PROUD. I never do that good in math. Haha Im awsome right..? =p
Don't anwser that. Tehe.

You know sprite is the shit. It's my favorite soda. Though I dont drink soda.I drink it every great moon. Hehe.

OMG!! I just remembered something I can talk about. SO I've never really liked anyone at school,and nor have I cared too. Then this guy switches into my 4th hour choir. And HOLY SHIT, HES HOT. I dont know someting bout him....Im attracted too. He's avarge height, got long black hair, Blue eyes, and he's a freakin senior. =D

Dood....I think I like him...Lol. That's never happened to me before. So I talked to him today and it went well.^^ Though I think he has a girl, which is okay..I mean it's not like Ima date him anyway. >.< Haha

Doood EVERY ONE at my school is getting prego. Its fucking crazy!!!

I wanna have some one I really know get prego. Hahaha. =D

Hmmmm wat cha say, all that its all for love. XP

I need a topic to talk about......Grrr Im in the mood and have nothing. To bad. >.<

Back

Hello everyone. ^^

Sooo it's just been hell this past few days. I got very sick, and was throwing up then i got better from the throwing up part but got back that terrible pain in my left side.
(To this day since last wednesday I have slept on the coach sitting up. UP. I am SOOO sick of it.) I hope this isnt to personal but it'll help also why I'm in pain. I got my "monthly" sunday as well which has been hell. I went to the docter and they think i could have something wrong with my ovarys.(didnt spell that right) They think i have cits on them. Anway..this coming monday i got to go to the Hospital and get a altra scan or something...From there, many things can happen..

I could have to get surgery, get on another medicine, or the worst one....they wont do anything and I'll have to just LIVE with it...which is NOT good. >.<

Thank you for the comment Just.^^ It was very nice, and very helpful. I owe you.

So anyway. I'll start getting up oost often now. =]

Well i got ALOT of peoples blogs to read and comment...


FUN FUN. =P

hello this is hope's brother,hope has been sick for the past 3 days and still is not feeling better.she has alot of homework to make up,she hopes to get on and post something soon.pray for her to get better,thankyou very much and you will get more details from her as soon as possible.