Dieing here

It hurts.. so deep, I fear I can't heal it. Why?

I want to disappear, and I want this pain to end. Want everything to end.

My heart suffers...but will it be put out of it's misery...no of course not. I'm expected to put on that stupid fake smile I left a few months ago when she came.

She became my life...slowly I revolved my everything around her, helping her, guarding her...loving her.

Each day she toke more of me and I gave it willingly..because I thought she was...I don't know..never going to hurt me...I know she didn't mean to but..she did and I'll be honest, I didn't think it possible.

I slowly fell in love with her...my best friend. I knew it was happening i knew the consequences well...but for her I had finally gotten over myself and toke a chance.....I toke a leap...a huge leap.. And I fell. Fell far from earth..to some other planet..Where all I can do is think how I lost her and how it's my fault. It's a world of hurt, pain, depression, and longing.

I'm dieing here...I'm crying here..

Why...I never thought such a simple word could mean so much. Why did this have to happen (because it's you hope) Why did she have to do it now (because she couldn't stand you any longer) Why cant we try ( Because she doesn't want a depressed freak) These are not even half the things that run through my mind. There eating away at me and Starting more tears I thought where dried up.