Pity..not likely.

Praying, and maybe even "hoping" that school will be canceled. >.<

Where suppose to be getting a shitload of snow. And the temp tomorrow morning will be negative 20. Thats FUCKING cold.

Dont get me wrong..I like winter for some reason..but when it gets like that....Im ready for summer. Lol.

You know what I find very amusing...?

I was talking with a friend the other day(wont mention any names) and they where very upset...and depressed. The cause was something very small to someone like me who's been to hell in back.

And I try to have compassion with all when it comes to be depressed, but some times my heart turns cold. I cant stand it when people who have it good complain...and are "depressed because for once ONE thing didnt go there way.

I cant and wont take it. I usually ignore their conversation..because I dont want to be rude and be like....Uhmmm dood thats nothing...compared to other things.

Idk....Maybe I'm being harsh.

I had a very controling step father who become my father at the age of 5. He became all I knew..and my mom has divorced him becuase of terrible things he done to her..and to me of which I WILL not mention..becuase for now that is not the point, and is a WHOLE other story in itself.

Anyway, He taught me really bad habits that I still unfortinatly have today. And one of them is not showing or having alot of compassion. I can be very cold at times. Though I try not to be, also...I dont really have or pity anyone. Its one thing he also taught me. No one cares...and you shouldnt either. You are out there for number one. and when you complain or look down on ur self and say why me your stupid and pathetic.

Soooo obviously...I find it very hard to have pity for anyone....Because I feel like everyone goes through shit..so did I and I had no pity..what makes anyone else special....?

This consept is probably wrong. Which is okay.. But thats kinda how my mind runs...because of "his" teachings. Though, Im much better than I use to be.

I also cant stand to cry. He taught me this as a weakness and if you did you where weak and stupid. I learned to be "tuff". And take it like it was. No tears could or would be involved.

Another one of his "wonderful" teaching I learned was to laugh at when people where hurt..or in pain...Lol....>.<

Isnt that terrible. I try my best to control it but if someone falls or slips I die laughing. >.<

Terrible right...? I know. I do though say are you okay..? But its usually after Im done laughing.

Though I DO NOT laugh when someone is crying or truly injured. Like bleeding or something. Soooo Im not that bad cause theres people who do that. But its still pretty bad.

>.<

Idk....where I'm going with this now...I'm kinda of blabbing....


If any of you pray, pray I'll have no school. Lol. Love you all. ^^