***
It's the same as always..
Nothing ever changes here. Things seem to get better, but..they never do. There always the same old fights. The same old yelling the same old pain...and emptiness..
It eats away at this broken family...
I'm sick of hearing "I'm done." Because no one is ever really done! Not when your blood. You'll always be attached and you'll always have to deal with them...because in reality you cant just be done.
Let me tell you...How fucking sick I AM and how DONE I am.
I'm so irritated at this damn life of mine.
Why cant I ever have it "good."
I'm sick of stupid fucking people complaining over life over STUPID THINGS!!!!!!!!!!! Who actually have it good and take it for granted...!! Who have had a good life always, never had a TRULY bad thing happen to THEM.
I hate it..hate I have to hear others complain..when I cant..because mine is actually something that eats away at me each day....it makes me sick to my stomach that people have become so dense and selfish..I would love to have a good easy life.
My life from day ONE has been rocky and no smooth sailing..I just cant seem to understand or comprehend why I CANT EVER BE HAPPY......?????????????????????
When is it my time to be fine, to smile more than I ever have. To laugh and really be happy. To cry because its something joyous or amazing...not sad.......its always sad.....
***
Its amusing to me how things and even people are never truly as they seem.
We look like a happy normal family with of course some stupid drama, but nothing out of the ordinary..nothing really bad...
Or.....so you would think.
I'm not dumb and I know everyone goes through life..and something "bad happens"....but what is the definition of bad..?
There's different types of bad things and to be point blank..there's some that ARE worse than others..
I don't like to complain..but I ...just wonder and feel terrible...that I my family for some damn reason can never be happy or normal..
All I want in this life.....is a happy normal life.
I want to be HAPPY..not having to fake a smile or a laugh I want to feel what Ive never felt in my life....
Being normal...
I want me and my family to finally get what we deserve...true happiness.
why cant we have true happiness.. *crys*
2 comments:
I knew something was wrong... Call me when this happens i will be happy to talk you know any hour is good for me lol. I'll always be there you know that im sure, but whatever is comfterble for you
It really seems like you NEED to get away from your family im sorry. Wel im glad your going to Abbi's in a few days that will be good for you. Maybe you could come over when things calm down a bit when you get done with your 2 weeks thingie
Ai shi teru, Mikomi. Goshujin mai Neesan. i hope i got the translation right hehe. if i got it wrong text me lol
Anybody would know somethings wrong when you say "Im not going to text for ahwile got into a fight." LOL. XD Aha. Your crack me up boy!! =D
It's not you, its just when Im like this I dont like talking to anyone...mainly cause I dont want to be pityed...or treated like a baby....Its werid, I dont mind it from like...my really really close girlfriends like willy...but I just idk...have never liked it. I just keep to myself. Thats how I did it when i was young...and its sort of a habbit now... >.<
Though I do love talking to you. Like I said..it has nothing to do with you.
Thank you. You know it means alot to just know someones there..even if they dont do anything...knowing is enough for me. ^^ So again thank you.
I love them...and they love me as well but where all just stressed out...
Mom is sad and very lonely...She wants to be with a good man..but the one she thought was good turned to be a real fucking dick licker. XD Lol. I just want her to get a man she deserves..
Katie..well shes katie. Lol. I think once we get more space from each other..we'll be closer like we use to be.I mean..we have shared the same room our whole freakin lives.XD
Im very glad I get to go to Abbi's house. I love hanging around her. She has such a nice peacful energy that I find very refreshing. ^^ I look forward for it..alot.
Yes...maybe I can..Well see. I would love to but I cant until mum comes back. XD
Lol. Tell me what it means!!! Im not sure...and I dont want to look it up nooow. XD pleeeease. =P
Ai shi Teru. ^^
Hope-
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