Pictures of me from 2 days ago an 1 day

This was two days ago. =]

this was yesterday.=]

me and my step sis. 2 days ago

day ago

2days ago

tonight on new years. just got out of the shower.

yesterday-me and my mom

yesterday.

2days ago.

My kitty with my bow. =]

yesterday. my defalt.

me and my sister katie. 1 day ago.

This was at spencers in the mall. 2 days ago. I was wearring penis hat thing and necklace. LOL>.<

Happy New years

Soo my family is crazy...and I cant imagine what another year possily could bring.



>.<>

SOOOO please feel free to be honest. I like that very much. ^-^

Dedicated to Lia

Hehe

New Years and a stupid poem

So I was going to try and write a poem for LIA..but it didn't work out that well.

I sat there for EVER rewriting shit I messed up on. Then my sister walks in and desicdes to redical my damn stupid fucking poem.

So I get pissed and save the damn thing putting it some where no body can read the stupid thing. In the YOU SUCK MAJOR BALLS AT WRITING POEMS inbox.

>.<>.< AHHHH I could kill katie. Not you Lia but my sister katie. AHHH shes a turd.

Grrr. SOOO im done ranting, Happy New Years. Sorry you didnt get to hear my stupid poem. Lol.

And if im not on in awhile its cause I killed my sister and went to jail. XP

For Lia

The feeling of happiness.



This feeling of change.



My eyes light up.



My voice seems too saine.



A smile engulfs my face.



My heart seems to be in a race.



The clock is ticking.



Just a little more time.



Worry and fear.



She wont ever hear.



Will she see the little light.



O dear O dear.



Dont leave a message, Please anwser in time.



Say a pray.



Hello katie, how is your new years.

World we live in

You know what I've noticed...?

Is how much people change each and everyday. How they grow more mature or less mature. How there values seem to change as well. Even though just a week ago it was completley different...

I do like change for the most part..and I've now realized....I HATE change...All the change I've seen so far...is good for the other person but nobody else. And I dont like it.

I dont like the relationship I have with my sister. We were tight. Closer than close. Now where like fire and ice. We dont get along....I mean seriously who wants to play with fire..when all you get is burnt. Thats how it is. And when she does try every great moon ....Im cold to her...because I've waited for so long...and I got tired of waiting.

Though my father probably wont admit it again....he was upset with me. He said He didnt think I cared, that I could give a shit less. Now if any of you know me well, theres one thing that has always been clear. For some odd reason since I was little my dad has been my hero. I absolutely adore him, and only wish to please him.

So when he told this to me..you could imagine my face...I cryed. Lol. Stupid right...... >.<

But in my head...I guess I thought it to be obvious..Like everyone knew my daddy was my favorite, and you don't mess with him other wise you'll deal with me.( LMAO)

And me and my dad are so much alike..we both need to have people show that they care for us to truly believe it. And both me and my dad have depression issues...so we don't have alot of self esteem.....so we need that encouragement from people to show they care.

But I guess...I thought he always knew...and he didn't....Which killed me. The only one in my whole life Ive ever really wanted acceptance and love from...

Thought I gave a shit less about him... It hurt..

Since that day I have called him everyday and told him I loved him...

As much as we all would just love for life to stand still..... freeze time and stay in happiness and keep relationships the same....

It WILL never happen.

We can't change everyone.

And the world will not stop on our expense.

That is the hard reality we live in.

SO EVERYONE

Live each day as though it's your last. Change all relationships you hate...and forgive those who have hurt you.

That is the only way for our world,

our life

to go round.

Hello

Sooo this week and last week has gone by very slow...like the days have. =/

Not much has happened except that my step sissy has come down from Arizona. We've been have n a good o'l time. =DD

Ive missed being on here. I want to write alot but it seems i still dont have enough time. GRRR

Well this bites.

Well shout out to LIA, MATT, AND MY LIL BRO TY. LOVEZ YA ALL.

Talk to you all tomorrow

Sorry I havent been on in for ever. I hope to get on tomorrow and read everyones things and all.
Soo I havent looked at anyones...so DONT think Im ignoring you.

>.<

Love ya all.

ALIVE

Hello earth. Hope is finally back and kicking. Got my knew meds and I already feel the effects working. Which is FUCKING amazing. ^o^

Haha. Part of the medicine's job is to make me have more energy so I feel kinda hyped up..like a squirrel on caffeine. WHOOOHOOO <.<

lol.

SOOOO Just got done talking to my little brother. (Ty from I'll do tricks for you) and I am soooo SOOOO excited for him. WHHOOHOOO go get him Little bro!! Ahhh so proud man. I cant even tell ya. =DD

ANYWAY, Gonna make a shout out to ALL MY FAVE. BLOGS.

LIA- YOUR THE SHIT. YOUR MY BABY GIRL AND I FUCKING LOVE YOU

TY- YOUR AMAZING AND IM SOO PROUD. KEEP IT UP BOY.

MATT- BOY YOUR THE SEX. LOL. YOUR AMAZING, AND I LOVE YOUR SUPPORT.

Thanks to all who where there for me when I was gone for EVER, I really appreciate it. I LOVE YOU ALL!!

Christmas is coming.... SOOOO let me know what you want!!! =DDD

I'll write an actually blog tomorrow. Got finals to study for tomorrow. UGH. >.<

tissue

I have to change my medicine again..which of course is very discouraging.>.<

I gave it a few months and another few weeks...Soo it's time to call this one an epic fail.

My life seems to be just staying still but some how turning too...enough to make a person sick. It's like living hell on earth..

I can't find enjoyment in pain or in happieness. nothing. Everything I normally would do is no longer working for some stupid reason.

I drew pictures. Didn't help.
I wrote about it. Made me more depressed.(lol)
I talked about it. Made me mad. >.<
I sang about it. I wanted to go to sleep and never wake up.
I cut myself. Only made more scars that all look the same.

Nothing worked. Normally one of those things WOULD of helped....but nothing has. It seems I cant find comfert in the one things that hurt....but help. How truly sad.

My friends..are so blind they see nothing at all. I feel as though I wear a huge sign on my forhead saying HELP ME!! and yet none of them see it. I don't see how. It's so obvious. Or at least it feel's like it is...
Maybe they do know..but just don't care or do know but are just sick of dealing with me. I don't know and either way...

I don't blame them.

Blame anyone. who decides I'm not worth anything because to be honest..it's true. Once everyone, my family, friends,blogger people relize that then they'll be better off. They can delete me out of there life. And be okay. And It's okay ....because I would.

I'm not something people care about. I just get used all the time. I'm like a tissue. I can serve a good purpose but soon I'll be waisted up and have to much shit on me ..that all that's left is to throw me away into the trash can.

So...with that said. I understand if some of you will stop following me. I would recomend it.

Trust me..your not missing anything.

fire vs. ice

nothing bad has happened..and yet nothing good either.

I guess today's just going to be like the old days..lol..

Days of stupid depression. I hate it...because i don't want to give into it.. I haven't in months. And If I do now..it'll look bad on my part..and I want to appear happy,fine,and okay.. Though..i don't know if I am..

I've ignored my depression..but just like day becomes night..I become depressed. It's unpreventable.

God.. to think for once I could be happy.. Is plain stupid. How could I..? EVER have anything go well.

So stupid. everything is. There's no point of me. Honestly.

I'm a waste of space. I don't help any. I don't have a job, life, or a heart. I have no purpose. I am of no use.

And yet I'm still here.

I don't want to be.

I just want to fall into a eternal sleep..where everything is just black..in the dark.

there's nothing and no one. That seems fitting for me.

I'm played with fire..and I'm burned..and now all i want to do is freeze. ....

I'm cold right now....so why not.

I care, but do you?

PLEASE TURN ON THE SOUND. THANKS AND ENJOY. =D

Friends are made to pick up the broken pieces when you can't.

Friends are there to bet the hell out of a bitch that starts a rumor.

Friends are there to tell you, your beautiful, and every man totally does NOT deserve you.

Friends are there to tell you, you have a HUGE fucking bugger on your face when everyone laughs and stares.

Friends are there to piss you off so you'll have a reason to go see them.

And most importantly..

A friend is there when NOBODY else cares.

So many are with out a true friend today. So many ache and hurt because no one treats them like there alieve. SO many BRING THERE OWN PAIN just to feel SOMETHING.

And so many wear that fake smile when in truth ....

their so hurt.

Well I say NO MORE.

No more will your tears fall down, because you're hurt so bad.

Not anymore.

NO MORE

Until the day I die. No one. will feel any pain. I'll stop it. I know I can. because I'll do that.

Anything for the ones I love.

SO.

Everyone that's reading this.

What will you do. Todays the day, you can save a life simply be telling some one.

"Hey, you know I just want you to know your a good person, and I respect you."

YOU CAN NOT TELL ME IF SOME ONE SAID THAT TO YOU, IT WOULDN'T EFFECT YOU.

you would be surprised and in the end happy because SOME ONE noticed you.

Be grateful. because life as we all know it could end any day.

and that one person you always wanted to talk to would never know.. how truly specialy they are to your heart.

<3

dedicated to-Lia.

ASK ANYTHING

I saw one of my blogger people do this. Soo I thought it would be fun.

You can email me or comment me asking any questions you want. =p

You dont have to tell me your name or anything either. Just ask. It can be completley random.

I love being random, soooo it's all good.

Have fun. =p

email- silverdancer103@gmail.com

Little something bout me.

Real name- Hope

Eye color- changes color but usually blue grey, grey, green, grey green, and blue green. Lol

Hair color- golden brown

Height- 5'6

Age- 15 on Feb.1 I'll be 16

favorite color- purple

born- Arizona

Love life-single

Job- none yet. =)

Sooo that's alittle bout me... =D

Romance

So these pictures are the cutest things ever!!! I love them. Where watching all these movies right now, and most of them are romance so I thought I'll put up my favorite romance couples. =]

If you don't like guy on guy or gays do not look. I don't want a comment bitching me out. Soooo if you have different views good for you. Just don't look at this blog. =P






SEXY. SEXY =P

AWWWWWWWW

SOOOOOO CUTEE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I LOVE THIS ONE. SOOO AMAZING.

CAN U SAY SEXY...? AHHHHH

OKAY MY TOP FAV. AHH LOVE THIS ONE

ARENT THEY ADORIBLE..????? ^O^

Explaining bitching..and well more bitching yaa

I'm sorry to all who had to read my last two blogs. Obviously I was depressed and just felt like bitching. Being sick alaways put's me in werid bi-polar moods. I'm happy and cuddling with some one then the next moment I'm sad and just want to be left alone.

I hate it. >.< SO again very sorry.

I don't really think things like being fat, skinny, black, white,mentally challenged, and etc, really defines a person. I said that just because I was upset.

No, I know what makes a person. It's the heart, and the soul. Nothing else really matters. Because what ever is in some one's heart is them. But I guess one of the point's I was trying to make was...not everyone thinks like me...(Nobody should!! I'm...retarded, Lol)

Alot of people only look at the bad things or the flawed things and use them against other people when they too, HAVE FLAWS!!!! That was the point I was trying to get across. It's..It's very sad...because none of those things matter..and yet the world we live in...they do.

It's like two birds trying to kill each other because one has a better nest than the other. I mean come on. BE GRATEFUL YOU HAVE A NEST. *DAMN BIRD*

They both have a nest..?

Right..?

They both are birds right...?

They both have the power to change anything..lets say like a nest.....

Right....?

So then why do they fight...? Because there animals. It's always going to be put in any living things head, it need more,or the best. It's called greed.

When a child is born they know nothing..! Correct. Yes. This is why they call it the learning stages of life. These nexts years with the child and parent is going to help develop what the child will act like.

Lets say Baby boy is 3 years old and has watched dad bet the shit outta mom. Well you can be sure that baby boy is going to think hitting girls is okay, just because he was around it, and dad did it.

See when infants are born greed is the only thing they know.

They want to be feed .

They need to be changed.

They want attention and love.

Greed is first instinct to everyone.

It's the growing up part that teaches us the things we want and the things we truly need.

So anyway ya....I think that's part of what I was thinking...

I don't know...To be honest I can't really think much with all the medicine I'm on. I just know my nose burns like a bitch from blowing it to much (Hahaha...pervert)=D
My throats hurts like a bitch because it's dumb.....and well everything else. Lol. =P

So enough of my bitching and explaining my bitching. Lol. Have a good rest of the day people's.

I WANT TO GIVE A SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE GAY AND BI PEEPS OUT THERE.

YOUR FUCKING AMAZING.

LOVZ YA!!!! XP

(It's called the red X mark....If I was you I'd click it right now, STOP STARING AT THE COMPUTER. This chick is crazy!!!) Haha

nothingness

People.

Why where people created..? Some say they weren't, they formed from monkeys. Some say God himself created us. Some say we where created by nothing, where just here.

And I say who gives a damn..

But why..? Why were we created..?

I don't care if my great great aunt is a fucking monkey, or if I just appeared on this planet, or if god made me. I CARE WHY SUCH A THING would want to make something as ugly, beastly, disobedient as us..?

People are not perfect, they have flaws, they can be mean, fat, skinny, liars, blind, mentally challenged, Black, white, racists, Bi-polar, and the worst part of this all is the LIST GOES ON AND ON.

Why do you think people created the ect.word...? Because there was way to many fucking things to count, and just as we are,..... who honestly would take the time and read MILLIONS of reasons why where imperfect.

No one, because no one wants to hear that.

SO then why if knowing say for example God,knowing how we'd be like this, WHY MAKE US..? Is it to torture the FUCK out of us..? Is it amusing to see the pain and suffering of others.

For people of the same kind to hate and label each other as though one was better, though we already have established neither is. Because people them selves aren't PERFECT.

It's a circle of which goes round and round. More pain, more hurt, and more....

Nothingness.

a never ending circle......... of a life where suppose to live

for a day that only will end.

Depression

Depression

A number one reason why teens compete suicide.

Depression

A number one reason why teens do drugs.

Depression

A number one reason why teens cut.

DEPRESSION

A NUMBER ONE REASON WHY I'M DIEING INSIDE.

And Where does DEPRESSION hurt....?

Everywhere

Who does depression hurt...?

Everyone

And who can help..?

No one.

You can take all the medicine in the world.

You can get the best counseler that ever lived

You can pretend all you want, that it isn't real

But in REALALITY NO ONE GIVES A HELL.

that is depression.

That is

my hell.

ALL FOLLOWERS READ U MAY HAVE A AWARD

This blog is only going to be about my top favorites, because they need to be noticed for how fucking amazing they are. And don't get mad if I don't write alot about you because it may be I don't know..or I'm just meet you....I dont know. =P

NUMBER ONE -..MY GIRL...Lol.. AWARD GOES TOOOOO(no award..though that would be awsome..Lol god I have a one trackmind).
LIA! FROM- THROUGH MY EYES:
This girl is fucking amazing and has been with me since the begining of my blogging days. She is sooo sweet and kind hearted. I don't think she could hurt a fly. She has a amazing gift or writing poems that sound like god him self wrote it. =P She is all that every girl seeks for. I envy her, and most of all love who she is.

NUMBER TWO-MY BOY..not but that would be amusing... AWARD GOES TO TY. FROM- I'LL DO TRICKS FOR YOU:
So this boy is soo funny, and soo down to earth. He say's it like it is, and there's no drama orbullshit. I like that in a person. He's able to say how he feels without being worried of what others think. He's verykind hearted and cares for people that truly don't deserve it(not saying any name..*Cough HOPE*..Lol.. He has really great taste in music too, OHH and blogs, I must admit, most of my favorite blogs came from his page. ^-^ Haha.

NUMBER THREE-AMAZING BOY AWARD GOES TO FORSAKEN. FROM-A TWISTED FAITH:
So I feel like a total bitch cause I've been reading his stuff and all...but I never thought once to ask his name or what he would like me to call him..Thats why it says to forsaken cause that's his email...(I think..lol). SO this boy is just like WOW. Awsome perfect picture of mature down to earth out there guy. If people where more like him and Ty the world would be FUCKING AMAZING!!! I haven't talked much with him yet..but I already know enough to tell he is kind and is passionate about the people he loves and the things he cares for. I respect him.

NUMBER FOUR-SEXY MAN BEAST..(LMFAO) AWARD GOES TO DOUG. FROM-RIGHT TIME AND PLACE:
Soo just found this guy a few days ago I believe..and Saw his post on almost died..and I died laughing. It was amazing. I love people that are just so random that it's awsome. OMG AND OHH YESS HE POSTED THREE SOME!!! OMG CAN U SAY ORGASMICK..? AHHHHH. (Lmao) It's amazing. Just so blunt and out there. I love it. Good for him. Omg and sleep over...dood that sex right there, holy shit soooooo SEXY! lol

NUMBER FIVE-CHEERLEEADER..AWARD GOES TO FALL OUT GIRL. FROM-INSERT CREATIVE BLOG TITLE HERE:
Soo yet again I havent had the chance to figure out a name. But I'm sure what ever it is, it's beautiful. She is very sweet and kind, and has alot to offer this world. She cares deeply for those who are her friends or her lover.(hehe). She has heart that could change the world,and soul that could save lives. I know it. She's creative and can DRAW. Which I will add is the SEX. (When I say something is the sex I mean it is awsome, hot, kewl, interesting than anything ect.)

NUMBER SIX-MANSOME MAN..(HAHA) AWARD GOES TO BRETT. FROM-WHO'S KEEPING SCORE:
Sooo I just like found this man today. And already love him.(His blog, though I bet he is amazing to fall for. Lol) He is very funny and kind. I love the pictures he puts up. And his blog is like a book always keeping you on your toes, wanting more. I love it. I haven't learned much yet but I'm sure he's got alot more that meets the eye.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST NUMBER SEVEN-THE MR.(hehe)AWARD GOES TO WKBOY714. FROM THAT BOY'S RAMBLINGS:
I just found his blog as well. So of course I don't know his name..yet. (Haha). He's very nice and amusing from what I've read. He is awsome. I hope to learn alot more about him. He is very compassionent about his friends and family. I love that. He's a down to earth guy.

Well...I must be getting off. I had a SHIT load of home work from yesterday. I was sick and stayed home. Anywayz...Love ya all.

OHHHHH AND I LIKE TO THANK THE ACCADOMY..JK...Lol.

WELCOME TO THE CRAZY WORLD OF HOPELESS HOPE. How ironic. ^p^

Sick=Asswipe

Being sick is like being stuck at a museum with annoying kids screaming and yelling. All you wanna do is kill everyone and just go home and sleep the day away.

Well, Because I'm the way I am. Once I get sick I stay sick for EVER. Sure you may think I'm being over dramatic but just wait another week from now and I'll still be sick. THEN WHO'S DRAMATIC...Lol..

Sooo anywayz, thats why I haven't updated or commented on my people's stuff. Which I hope to do tonight, But it's looking like tomorrow. =(

If anybody is looking for more awsome blogs add my sister. She's one of my followers. Her blog is Wicked Lovely. Her "name" is Karma-dee. She's kewl. =p

I guess.. lol.

Live alittle part2

Live alittle

Soooo I'm updating my myspace because I hadn't been on in years, and I was putting up funny quotes, and thought, OMG I should put them on my fucking blog. =P

SOooo If your having a shitty day Come look at these and they should make you smile, hell maybe laugh. Love ya all. ^-^