making life my bitch

Ever feel like your on a certain path and everything will be going great and then suddenly something changes........ or maybe its you that changes, either way you no longer feel the same you did and soon your path is changed yet again?!

Ever wanted to just SCREAM exactly what your feeling out and just let all your most inner demons and fears go out your mouth and away from your mind..?

Ever go back to old habits and wonder deeply if you should start again, or leave the past in the past..?

Well, I'm always on the same path it's just I tend to drift. I get preoccupied by other things or even distracted.
The point is...I kinda drifted far far away from my path, and well...am just now getting back on track.

Ive let some of my inner demons out and shared my fears..my reality. But it's not enough. It never goes away. And you certainly never forget. It's like a terrible reminder of how you fucked up and how you can never change it.
The worst part is you can never truly let it all out...especially to the one you want to. Because doing that..
is just creating another demon.another fear. another reality.

Ahhh, as they say old habits never die. There like crap inside of you. Its always building up and causing you distress. Finally you let it all out, but sooner or later, your gonna have to deal with that shit again.
Habits, they just love to come back and taunt the hell outta of ya. And most of the time.you.fall.right.into.it.again. God, where all just gelatin's for punishment aren't we..?
I shouldn't be to negative eh, well some do die.

But don't worry another will start, and your right back to the next pain in the ass.
My habits...oh there just. FUN.
I'll do pretty good for awhile, for a long while. But then I get caught off guard fall slowly then soon I'm eating dirt from the ground. Yum.
Well, I can say for now....I think Ive concurred that pain in the ass. But I have a feeling another may start.

Bring it on. *smirk*

As they do say, when life gives you lemons. You make some sour lemonade, and poor that shit in life's face until it feels the burn!!!!

whoooohoooo.

Hope is back, and feeling the burn.XD

until next time, FUCKING MAKE LIFE YOUR BITCH. =D *winks*

noo, but really.

COCK

OOOO kay so in a much better mood. My two buddies cheered me up and showed me the light. XD lol.

Thank you from the blog twisted faith and thank you Max. XD

This is something funny max my gay friend had said to me. =D

I had cock twice in a sentence so he was like I wonder If I could make a sentence all about cock. Sooooo here it is......



Once upon a cock, there was a cock who was cocky, and he was very cock-nosed about his cock garden. So he cockgobbled everyone and they died. The end.

Beautiful isnt it..? Lol. I know right. Ahhhh-mazing.

I hate this

I hate this!!!

Its the one stupid thing I'm good at..and I cant fucking do it.

I CANT DRAW LIKE EVERYONE THINKS I CAN. IM NOT A FREAKIN GOD LIKE THEY SEEM TO THINK I AM. AND I CANT DRAW EVER FUCKING THING THEY WANT. T.T

Trying to draw stuff that I know is out of my league is depressing and hurtful.. like a slap to the face,....a fucking reminder that you fucking suck and can only do so much..

I draw to help ease my mind, to make others smile, and to feel accomplished and worthy of something.....

And when I cant do that..it fucking hurts deep. Like a dagger to the back...and you just keep getting stabbed. >.<>.<

So dont ask of me to do it....cause now look...Ive dissapointed my uncle and grandparents and people I dont even fucking know!!!!!!!

And most of all..............

I dissapointed myself.

I really thought maybe I could...and I couldn't and they still ask of me to try again.

I don't want to try again....what is this a sick fucking joke, hope you've failed and we want you to try again to watch you fail FOR A FUCKING THIRD TIME.

O.O
SO MUCH FOR THIRDS A FUCKING CHARM.

T.T

I feel so depressed...I'm so mad I'm freakin crying!! GAH!!! X[

I hate this...