I hate this!!!
Its the one stupid thing I'm good at..and I cant fucking do it.
I CANT DRAW LIKE EVERYONE THINKS I CAN. IM NOT A FREAKIN GOD LIKE THEY SEEM TO THINK I AM. AND I CANT DRAW EVER FUCKING THING THEY WANT. T.T
Trying to draw stuff that I know is out of my league is depressing and hurtful.. like a slap to the face,....a fucking reminder that you fucking suck and can only do so much..
I draw to help ease my mind, to make others smile, and to feel accomplished and worthy of something.....
And when I cant do that..it fucking hurts deep. Like a dagger to the back...and you just keep getting stabbed. >.<>.<
So dont ask of me to do it....cause now look...Ive dissapointed my uncle and grandparents and people I dont even fucking know!!!!!!!
And most of all..............
I dissapointed myself.
I really thought maybe I could...and I couldn't and they still ask of me to try again.
I don't want to try again....what is this a sick fucking joke, hope you've failed and we want you to try again to watch you fail FOR A FUCKING THIRD TIME.
O.O
SO MUCH FOR THIRDS A FUCKING CHARM.
T.T
I feel so depressed...I'm so mad I'm freakin crying!! GAH!!! X[
I hate this...
2 comments:
I see that this is one of the blogs you posted when you had blocked me lol figures why im just now commenting on it. Doesnt it just suck when you suck at the the 1 thing your good at? its a riot..
I still dont know what my talent is or what im good at or my speacial gift. Is it stratgey or the Bible. i dont know and i know that it will be a long time tilll i figure out, but those to things are what im good at..so i thought. Its just a joy how in church everyone expects me to know the answer to EVERYTHING about the bible but i dont. its humilateing when you raised your hand thinking you know the answer. your thinking i got this i know this one. but when you tell them your answer..your wrong everyones eyes are on you and your wrong, and i feel ive disapointed everyone cause they thought i knew it. And second stratgey, ive always been good at that, till recently i suked balls. i was on a losing streak of more than 10. Alex and austen are always in a cheerful mood hey lets play and though they lose (with me) they are still cheerful bbut not me its one of the things i thought i was good at. you lose you lose you lose you lose. over and over over and over same thing again and again. i gave up on both stuff accutaly even the Bible, though i didnt "give up" on it i just stop trying answer everything and just kinda drifted away from it a lil bit.
After a long time i was sitting there bored and i said fuck it im bored but oh well im going to lose anyway i dont really care. and guess what i won. i though it was just luck i did another i won again and again. and then in the Bible thing i got back into it and i answer every question right.
Point is we are only human we are not gods even though some people think we are. but we can still try like i did. even when you might disapoint others and mostly yourself, try again you might just succed and you might just do better than you think you can and learn something on the way. and if you ever have trouble you can come to me for comfort. ill always be there for you even if im broken ill still be there.
I hope this helps you in some way
i love you
Well, you can draw. Even with limits, that's something. I'm artistically challenged; I can't: paint, draw, sketch, play music, compose, sculpt, dance... You name the artistic occupation, I can't do it. And we're not even talking like I can achieve a beginner's level. I can't get even get that far.
That said, try not to be so hard on yourself, k? Don cry. :( I think a lot of artists really show potential when they have a good teacher. Almost all the successful people on earth, that have lived or do live or probably will, had a good teacher, or several good teachers. So, while you feel you may have reached a ceiling, it is likely only because you don't have someone to show you the skylight.
*hugs*
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