Okay this blog is explaing triangle. I'm writing this mainly for Tyler to explain and show him the situation and maybe even get some advice. (I'm changing the names of people in here because I have some of my friends on this blog and I dont want to give anything away and I dont want questions asked about who they are)>.<
As you said before, love hurts..it hurts alot..Its the main reason I completely ignore it. I can do with out it..now Im not saying I dont feel the need or wanting...Ya I do and it hurts but Its better than other pain and other drama.
We'll call the main guy Joe. I've known Joe for a long time, and known his family for a long time as well. Our friendship is werid because it's off and on. One moment we havent talked in a year and the next we talk everyday and do stuff everyday. Thats just how it is...and Ive come to terms with that.
Anyway...I like him..I like him alot and I have for 3 years now..but see we've always been friends and strictly friends...we hugged alot, baked together, held hands, laid by each other, lay on top of each other(nothing bad was going on..Lol), fell asleep in the same bed...I mean we pretty damn close. XD
And it seems each year the wanting grows more..and hurts more too. Hell you could practly say Im in love with the boy..but its werid because..I dont want to be with him...Now you must be like..wtf..Ya..Thats what Im thinking...
You see I really do love him. I know everything about him and he knows all about me. Ive seen him in his most vunerable times and he's seen mine...but because we've been through so much and friends for so long we both came to terms that we where scared to ever date because we didnt want our friendship to end...
And I agree with that but..I wanna be close with him..and do things that "friends" dont do, like kiss, and hug like you mean it...and shit like that...but he just went back with his ex...the one he said he would never date again...(how surprising...Lol)and Im scared because I dont know if he feels the same...
The funny thing is I wouldnt ask anything of him...not to be called boy friend and girl friend...or even be together all the time....no..I just want to be able to do things that couples do and not having him or me being or wanting anyone else....
Is that asking alot..or to much..?
I dont know..I ask myself this...and the wanting is worse now because he was technically my first kiss. Now see what happened was we where screwing around fighting over a blanket then he was like come over here if you want it, and I did. I leaned in and then he kissed me and then we did it like 3 more times..just little pecks on the lisps..and then he said something that tore me apart..
"I hope you know that meant nothing...I mean it wasn't meant like that..cause I know you've never kissed anyone at all.." I couldnt believe he said that..My heart stopped and I smiled at him and said "of course not..it meant nothing."
Oh what a lie that was...>.<
That happened like a year or two ago..and things where a lot different then..we where closer...now things are more about physical stuff..and sexual stuff...and it hurts because I have done certain things with him and I did it liking him which made it something special to me..when it wasn't for him....
So...I guess I do it to myself right..I'm dumb and put myself up for heartache...I don't know..
You know what I don't get is....
If we are such good friends wouldn't that make it easier if we did break up cause then we could just be like, you know it didn't work and at least we tried and never wondered what if in the future.........
I really dont want it to stay the same..in fact I want it to be the way it use to be....but that IS asking to much...and thats what sucks..
should I give up on him....theres more...and if you want to know more about Joe..I can post a blog just about him. >.< Let me know.....
welcome to the world of Hope....where theres constant pain, drama, and dont forget LOVE ISSUES. XD
2 comments:
Heya! I kinda had the same thing with this GIRL ( o: ) I liked. Everytime I saw her with someone else it broke my heart a little, still does but not so much, learning to get over it. What's annoying is that when we met we both liked each other I'm sure, but I did nothing and lost out :/
Maybe it would be best to tell him? At least that way you won't be regretting it like I did. And if he says "No" then you can just be like "Ok, just wanted to make sure now I know for sure, can we just be friends still :)"
Hope things work out well! And sorry haven't been commenting lately but I haven't really had much time for my own blog let alone anyone elses, but I do have some now :o)
lovelove xoxo
hey lol; so, yeah it sounds quite complicated indeed. It's defiantly a big thing. One thing's for sure, you'll never know unless you ask. Hope, it's my firm belief if you want something, you need to reach out, and meet it half way. You never know how he feels unless you approach him about it, and if you guys are good friends, that shouldn't be too hard. Maybe a little awkward at the most.
You guys may try dating for awhile, and you can see how that works, but the past is abit complicated. All the time you guys spent as friends, might be able to act as a sort of 'foundation' to start off this relationship in. Even if it doesnt work out, it sounds like you guys are good enough friends to keep your friendship intact after that. But I really think you should tell him how you feel, and ask him what he feels. I can't stress that enough. Don't try to make it into a huge thing either, try to stay away from things like "I love you so much!" or "I really just need you!" these are VERY meaningful sentence to say to someone at the very begging of expressing your feelings. It can be shocking, overwhelming and might even scare him; even if it is what your feeling! Just tell him how much you care, and ask what he feels, you never know, that kiss might of meant more to him than you think.
-tyler
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