Future

Have you ever wondered what your future would turn out to be..How it was going to look like..and how everything changed....

I'm sure you have, lately thats all I seem to think about. The future..

I think I can finally move out.

I can get a car.

Go to collage.

Live with my dad.

and then I think...what if none of that ever happens..

then what, my future seems so bland and uncertain of which it is..but I just keep thinking something isnt right...

At one point or another you should have a period of time where everything is good. Everything is going great...(then it goes to hell. Lol)
But I havent had that yet...Ive been going through a huge and long peroid of pain and depression...and not once has it stoped...have i been able to just be happy and enjoy myself....

Thats not right..something is wrong or missing and I dont know what.. >.<

its frustrating because..I just want to be happy for a change, everybody I know has had a time to be happy, even if it was for a month or a year...I mean Ive been through so much hell my whole life..you'd think that for once...Id get a break...just to be NORMAL. to be happy...

is that to much to ask for.....