Kissing you

I feel so dead.

I just want to fucking CRY my stupid eyes out.

I want to know everything is okay,

I wanna know I'll see his face again.

I wanna know I'll hear his dumb voice when he's mad.

I wanna know I'll see him smiling when I say something dumb or wrong.

I wanna know I'll hear him laugh because he's a dork.

I wanna know that he'll never forget me....

and that I can feel the way I do when I'm with him isn't just made up..but real...guess I'll never find out...

how can this be.

I waited for so long. I've wanted to tell him how I feel and now he'll never know..and I'll be dieing here thinking of someone who probably doesn't care...

This hurts so bad. It's not even my fucking fault and yet I cant help but feel responsible for it all...I just want to drown myself in stupid depression..I want to soak it up as though It's candy on Halloween.

*tears falling down*

Never thought crying was so easy..and welcoming.

***

I miss him so much.

I miss talking

I miss hugging

I miss holding him and him holding me

I miss stealing his favorite spray and him getting mad and running after me

I miss sitting with him on the coach cuddling

I miss walking to his house

I miss seeing his smile

I miss walking by his side

I miss cooking with him

I miss the fact that I miss things we haven't done in a year.

and I miss the look in his eyes when he sees me.

***

Well...here it goes....

JOE......I.........Love.........You... T.T

goodbye.